In my mind, the Democratic primaries have been over since I voted way back in February. It's been pretty clear to me that Barack Obama has had the nomination in his pocket since Super Tuesday & I've done all I can to avoid the pointless Blah-Blah-Blah of the media mouthpieces for the last three months. Now that Hillary is clearly defeated (not dead, just pathetic), let us focus on the upcoming Presidential election versus John McCain (Hillary, I am talking to you!). Republicans are great at winning elections through fear mongering, smear campaigning, and appealing to the nationalistic and religious values of many Americans. Democrats are great at losing elections because they waste time defending themselves from Republican attacks instead of hitting the G.O.P. with a harsh dose of their own medicine. I am not affiliated with the Democratic Party (not since they opted to run John Kerry against Bush in '04 & convinced me that they had no intentions of winning the election), but I usually vote that way out of fear of the G.O.P. & I'll be damned if I watch the Dems throw away another election that was practically gift wrapped for them! To prepare for the arduous months ahead that will undoubtedly be full of stupid accusations & cheap shots, here are a few "I know you are, but what am I?" comebacks for the slander I see in the future:
*** Reverend Jeremiah Wright: The news just won't let this one go, but they seem to forget the wacko Christians McCain is aligned with! John Hagee (wants American & Israeli military action in the Middle East because he thinks it will bring about the end of times & Christ's Second Coming), Pat Robertson (of 700 Club fame), and Rod Parsley (believes that the U.S. was "in part" founded to destroy Islam). Next time someone brings up Obama's angry minister; remind them of the racist, paranoid, sexist, Right Wing lunatics that back Johnny Boy. (Or don't. Read Katha Pollitt's Op-Ed from The Nation, titled Preachers & Politics, HERE.
*** Casting Obama as an Elitist: I can't believe how many people actually believe the GOP when they suggest their opponents are "elitists". Their economic & foreign policies are the definition of Elitist Behavior! Just because Obama can deliver a speech like an intelligent educated person does not mean that he is part of some elitist conspiracy to smash the Common Man. His voting record illustrates his commitment to equality and liberty, so this argument is only an attempt to sway Every Day Joe voters to McCain.
*** Inexperience: McCain will trumpet his military service & Congressional experience as reason to elect him & he will undoubtedly point out how Barack has only served in Congress for a short time. To this, I would say: Hallelujah! Someone without lifelong connections to Washington lobbyists? YEAH! Experience don't mean shit since it's just another word that describes Commitments to The Status Quo.
*** Obama/Osama: Slap the next person that implies a fucking connection based on the fact that their names rhyme. It's ignorant.
*** Obama never served in the Military!: When John McCain's Vietnam torture experience is brought up to show how patriotic the man is, remind folks that he has flip-flopped on the torture issue, has signed off on huge reductions in Vet's benefits, and was down with the fucked up policy that has forced our military personnel into serving three or four terms in Iraq & Afghanistan illegally. Yeah, he served in the military but doesn't give a fuck about our current men & women overseas. That's just fucked.