Thank the gods for my ability to read!

Television is a seriously disappointing medium. Just think of all the possibilities available when one combines audio & visual elements.... then consider the swill that network & cable television presents us with. *sigh* Here's my list of the most heinous bullshit the TV Gods are currently sending to our sets:

* The History Channel: Most of the programing aired on THC is fucking pointless, inaccurate, incomplete, or not even related to History at all. Examples include the plethora of military-minded shows like Mail Call, Battle 360, or Dogfights; the fear mongering What-If programs like Mega Disasters, Monsterquest, or UFO Hunters; the stupid (not to mention boring) chronicles of Masculine Professions like Ice Road Truckers, Tougher in Alaska, and Ax Men; or the completely unnecessary crap like Gangland or Modern Marvels. With millennia of human history behind us, you'd think they'd have something to base a show on every once in awhile.

* Reruns of the same played out shows: There are thousands of by-gone TV shows that could be thrown in the mix (like Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid of the Dark, Eerie Indiana, My So Called Life, Ab Fab, or EVEN Buffy the Vampire Slayer), instead of the terminal re-runs of Roseanne, The Golden Girls, Home Improvement, Saved by the Bell, or Angel. Give us a break!

* American Idol: WTF? Plenty of people can sing well. I am not impressed by a bunch of young bucks slaughtering classic songs & withstanding shit talking from a cranky Brit. I'm just not.

* C.S.I. or Law & Order: I'll admit that I used to be a L&O junkie but ,honestly, how many hacked up prostitutes & wealthy child molesters can one person handle? Besides, these investigators are always camera-ready (even when they've spent 16 hours at a crime scene) & they totally curtail constitutional rights like it ain't no thing. Propaganda much?

* E!, Vh1, and MTv celebrity "reality" shows: Who the fuck wants to keep up with the Kardashians? Or why should I care that Denise Richard's life is complicated? Why would anyone compete to fuck Flava Flav (or New York for that matter)?

* The Real World: This show was fucking Gold during the first N.Y. season. Also, the L.A., S.F., Miami, Boston, New Orleans & Seattle houses were entertaining (& bore some resemblance to the real world). Now, the show is basically a summer camp for beautiful co-eds, specifically chosen for their sexual appetites & taste for dramatics.

* Poker: I am bored to death when I watch LIVE poker tournaments between people I know (when I at least have the benefit of giving a damn about the drama between players), why the hell would I want to watch strangers bet more money than I make in a year on a game of chance? The only televised competition that is more yawn-inducing is Golf.

* Mind of Mencia: Common Stereotype + Predictable Punch Line - any attempt at originality = Carlos Mencia on Comedy Central. Just because he throws political correctness out the door doesn't make the show edgy, especially when his humor is similar to the shit we used to laugh at on the playground.

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