Another beautiful day in the neighborhood

Or not. Current events aren’t really worth discussing anymore unless they pose a negative threat to our planet’s peaceful existence, right? On that note…

• Zimbabwe is no model of Democratic values. Since 1988, shortly after Zimbabwe gained it’s independence from the UK, Robert Mugabe has served as the country’s president and has benefited from nearly non-existent political opposition. Economic mismanagement, a hard-currency shortage, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, a nationwide drought, and prohibitions on foreign aid have left the country in dire straits. This year’s presidential election was expected to be full of drama and challenge Mugabe’s long-held position. So far, Zimbabwe’s election story rivals our own recent presidential elections in it’s treatment of democratic principles. The first round of elections was held on March 29th and it’s candidates were Mugabe of the Zimbabwe African National Union – Patriotic Front (or ZANU-PF), Morgan Tsvangirai of the Movement for Democratic Change (or MDC), and Simba Makoni running as an independent. For nearly a month after the election, it’s results were withheld from the public. This indicated that the MDC had won the popular election, since the ZANU-PF was already in power and had no reason to withhold the results otherwise. A re-do election, or run-off election, was declared when Mugabe & his supporters alleged that MDC-affiliated officials had tampered with the votes. The period between the first and the second round of elections has been marked by political violence on both sides. The second election was held on June 27th, but Tsvangirai formally withdrew from the race, calling it a “violent sham” and claiming that his supporters risked being killed if they voted for him. He cited 86 instances of his political supporters being murdered and the displacement of another 200,000 in the state-sponsored campaign of violence, which has included politically-motivated rapes of MDC supporters. Tsvangirai’s name remained on the ballots, none the less. As expected, the June 27th results were prompted released & they proclaimed Mugabe the winner in a landslide. Now, the African Union is considering what, if any, they should do about the obviously falsified election results. Archbishop Desmond Tutu has even expressed his support for using UN troops to restore peace in Zimbabwe by force. You know it’s serious when a Nobel Peace Prize winner like Tutu calls for a unilateral ass kicking! Zimbabwe reminds me that my home country is not the only politically retarded nation on the planet. Keep your eyes on the Southern region of Africa, Zimbabwe in particular, if you watch current events like other folks watch soap operas (as I do). This season should be interesting.
• South Korea recently repealed it’s ban on American beef imports & it’s an understatement to describe the South Korean population as “pissed”. So far, two separate protests have postponed the lifting of the ban. Critics point out how the ban was intended to protect the people of South Korea and since the U.S. beef industry has yet to make any real changes related to the initial concerns that prompted the ban, lifting it ignores the threat posed to the population’s health. Many people are annoyed with their government’s apparent willingness to cave to the demands of Washington. Today, a reported 13,000 people demonstrated in Seoul during Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s visit to the country. It seems to me that the people of South Korea aren’t about to be punked by the American government or it’s over-bearing industries without a fight and I find that commendable. That used to be the American Way. Maybe I outta’ start calling rebellious acts against oppression “the South Korean Way”. Lacks the same ring to it…
• Everybody my age remembers the Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989. The blackened animals, miles of oil slick along Alaska’s coast, and the environmental damage that can be seen even today. Many of us will be surprised to hear that the Supreme Court has overturned the $2.5 billion in fines that Exxon still owes for the accident, calling them “excessive”. In my opinion, Exxon Mobil’s $40.6 billion in profits during the past year (while I paid out my ass for gas) is excessive. I hate corporate immunity to justice.

Title IX: The amendment that changed our world

“No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance”    -Start of the original Title IX law

The story of Title IX sounds like it was made up as a leftist-feminist conspiracy tale, intended to prove just how fucked up gender discrimination was (is) in America. But, I kid you not, this is how it happened:

In 1965, presidential Executive Order 11246 prohibited federal contractors from discrimination in employment based on race, color, religion, or national origin. President Johnson later amended the Executive Order to include discrimination based on sex in 1968. Soon there after, Bernice Sandler of the University of Maryland realized that, as federal contractors, most universities and colleges were subject to the Order and her efforts to bring this to light caught the attention of Rep. Martha Griffiths (D-Michigan), who then gave the first Congressional speech about discrimination against women in education on March 9, 1970. The conversation that the speech started inspired Rep. Edith Green (D-Ohio) to draft anti-discrimination legislation and hold the first congressional hearings on discrimination against women in education and employment during June and July of 1970. Senators Birch Bayh (D-Indiana) and George McGovern (D-South Dakota) managed the bill in the Senate and after several months of debate and compromise, the Education Amendments of 1972, including Title IX, were signed into law by President Nixon without much fanfare. Supporters of Title IX intentionally kept mum on it’s benefits & relied heavily on the ignorance of it’s would-be opponents. What they didn’t notice, wouldn’t piss them off until it’s too late! Sorta’ like the strategy used to pass the Patriot Act, except instead of circumventing the freedoms of Americans, Title IX expanded them. It is a common misperception that Title IX only applies to women’s participation in sports programs. It did open the Wide World of Sports to the fairer sex, but it also prohibited the common practice of steering girls away from science or math programs and into Home Economics courses against their will. It did forcibly open up the Debate Teams, the student government, and all those extra-curricular programs that colleges look for on student applications. Educational institutions receiving federal money were no longer allowed to keep women from receiving higher education, less they jeopardize their grant funding. It did de-gender scholastic subjects making it easier for American girls to become Mathematicians, Scientists, Engineers, and Intellectuals in traditionally male-dominated fields. It is difficult for me, a girl born into the post-Title IX era, to imagine what the educational system looked like prior to 1972. We certainly didn’t have to attend our Mamma’s high school! That maybe why I can’t hem a skirt, but that’s another story!

The wording of the Education Amendments was intentionally vague, since any specifications in the initial bill would jeopardize it’s passage, and it took three more years before the specific regulations of Title IX were signed into law by President Ford on May 27, 1975. These specific regulations/ protections required school districts (or other such systems) to appoint at least one Title IX coordinator, who’s name & contact information is available to all students / parents / staff members, to oversee compliance efforts and investigate any sex discrimination claims. Districts were also required to make grievance procedures and discrimination policies public. After these regulations were announced, districts (and the like) were allowed to undertake a one-time self evaluation of discriminatory policies and were given the opportunity to layout plans to rectify bias, this way the schools weren’t slammed by a wave of lawsuits they were unprepared to face. Title IX went largely ignored and under enforced during the politically conservative Reagan and Bush Sr. Administrations, but since the 1990’s it has become an indispensable piece of gender-equality legislation.

Title IX has since been renamed the Patsy T. Mink Equal Opportunity in Education Act, in honor of the late Rep. Patsy Mink (D-Hawaii), the co-author of the original bill. Thirty-six years after Rep. Mink and Rep. Edith Green watched their historic legislation signed into law, we are still reaping the benefits of their hard work. The drop-out rate for pregnant teens and young women with children has dropped 30% since the 1970’s, largely because Title IX prohibited the automatic expulsion of mothers or would be- mothers. In the 1970’s, only 18% of American women completed four or more years of higher education. But, for the first time in American history, women now outnumber men in undergraduate programs & women receive 55% of all Bachelor’s Degrees. Women went from earning only 7% of all law degrees (in 1972) to a whopping 43% (as of 1994); they formerly held only 9% of all medical and 1% of dental degrees, but as of the early nineties women have received 38% of the degrees in both fields. There has been a four-fold increase in women’s participation in athletics since 1971, undeniably a result of Title IX’s protections. Probably more important than any tangible statistical comparison is the change in social beliefs about women and education. Many modern American families want their sons AND daughters to participate in sports programs, successfully complete high school, and go on to an institution of higher learning to earn their degrees. Prior to the ‘70s, this was necessarily the case in households across America. There isn’t exactly a study or bar graph I can cite to prove the change in American attitude toward women & education, but the proof is unnecessary if your mother, your grandmother, your aunts, or other ladies educated in prior generations are available to talk about the subject. This month marks the 36th anniversary of Title IX’s passage and I suggest we take a moment to reflect on how we have benefited from it’s existence. Devote a minute, an hour, an afternoon to thinking about how education has impacted your life and consider the not-so-distant past when women, just like you, were denied the opportunity to learn. Threats to equality never cease to exist, so peep yourself up on game about the campaign to Save Title IX at the EXercise My Rights webpage.

 

Facts and information cited in the above post was gathered from the following sites: Historical info found in the WEEA Digest from August 1997 located HERE, progress statistics were found in an archived progress report from the U.S. Department of Education dated June 1997 located HERE. Sorry, I couldn’t find more recent information on the subject.

The Scarlet Letter

The evangelical, right-wing, conservative Pro-Lifers in this country would have you believe that these days the scarlet letter is still an “A”, but instead of standing for “adulteress” it now vilifies those ladies that undergo abortion procedures. Contrary to popular belief (and according to statistics from The Guttmacher Institute), 4 in 10 unplanned pregnancies in the U.S. end in abortion. If the current rate of unintended pregnancy termination continues, 1/3 of America’s women will have had an abortion by the age of 45. 61% of women seeking abortions already have one or more children, which implies that their concern for the welfare of their current offspring plays into their decision to terminate. 78% of the women having abortions in the U.S. report having a religious affiliation but only 33% report ever having been married, which indicates that although most of these ladies got knocked up out-of-wedlock they aren’t the Godless heathens evangelicals would have you believe. Anyhow, my point is that many American women seek out abortion procedures and they aren’t primarily irresponsible atheist ho-bags trying to skirt the repercussions of pre-marital sex. For some reason, anti-choice douche-bag politicians ignore these facts and keep perpetuating the stereotype of ignorant  pregnant women being mislead into aborting by evil clinic workers and left-wing commie bastards, since the women obviously lack the ability to make such a grave decision on their own. When will they learn?

Honestly, once a woman discovers she is knocked up, there is little else you can think about even if you tried. This idea that women don’t (or can’t) weigh the pros and cons of termination before getting an abortion is not only wrong, it is damned right insulting. When I ended up preggo at the age of eighteen, I was fucking scared. I was confused. I was emotionally distraught. This is all true & I am sure that many chicks facing an unintended pregnancy at such a young age have rode a similar emotional roller coaster. Even though I was experiencing the gamut of human emotion, my brain remained fixated on the fate of the pregnancy. I could hardly focus on any other subject, because deciding what I was going to do about my fertilized state was my all-consuming task. I called the Planned Parenthood information hotline 15 or 20 times a day to listen to  pre-recorded statements telling me what to expect if I choose to terminate the pregnancy, what to prepare for if I decided to go through with it, and how I could prevent such a situation in the future. I come from a hilariously dysfunctional family and this was my version of talking things over with an informed trustworthy adult. I spent nearly six weeks as a pregnant teen. Back in the day, when a zygote couldn’t be located on a sonogram, they assumed that you were too early in the pregnancy to terminate & they sent you back home until you were approximately 6-12 weeks along, and this is precisely what happened in my case. I spent the entire six weeks thinking about my decision, possible side effects, unwanted repercussions, and the like. I still believe I made the best decision & that I made it on my own, independent from the input and opinions others made have had on the subject. These days advances in sonogram & hormone detection technology, not to mention the legalization of RU-486 (used for medicinal abortions), has sped up the process a bit, but in this modern age I have witnessed a couple gals grapple with their decision & undergo an abortion. These women spent most of their waking hours thinking about their options, their decisions, their situations just as I did years before. They sought out information and advice, as needed, and eventually made a sound and informed choice to end their pregnancies, just as women have throughout human history. This is why it is so insulting and condescending, personally offensive and down-right ridiculous, when anti-choice legislation is based on the premise that women aren’t able to make judgement calls in the reproductive department without help from the State, their male caretakers, or some other outside moral figure. It just pisses me the fuck off.

The current spark that lit my reproductive freedom flame came out of South Dakota (no surprise there!). Since the failed attempt to criminalize all abortions in the state, anti-choicer's have been on a mission to push their morality down the throats of S.D.’s women, like it or not. They included the same anti-choice proposition on the very next election’s ballot. They drafted & introduced all manner of regulatory legislation. Grassroots opposition has managed to keep most of the bullshit at bay, but unfortunately the moral crusaders managed to get an “informed consent” law on the books in 2005. This nifty piece of legislation requires that doctors performing abortions inform their perspective patients that "abortion will terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being” and "that the pregnant woman has an existing relationship with that unborn human being and that the relationship enjoys protection under the United States Constitution and under the laws of South Dakota." The doctor is also required to certify in writing that (S)he "believes she [the pregnant woman] understands the information imparted." The “informed consent” legislation has been tried up in the state’s judicial system since it’s passage and the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals began hearing the arguments in the case since Wednesday. Today, the Appeals Court ruled to uphold South Dakota’s informed consent regulations and was entirely responsible for pissing me off this afternoon. Essentially, South Dakota’s legislature is under the impression that pregnant women are unaware of the gravity of their situation (what pregnancy entails and all that) and are unable to attest to their own understanding of such information. Until a doctor vouches that a woman understands what pregnancy and abortion is, she is unable to make decisions about her own reproductive future. WTF? Haven’t we come far enough to acknowledge the fact that women are capable and competent enough to make their own decisions and govern their own lives, just as we allow men to do? There will always be those friend-of-a-friend girls that are rumored to use abortion as a method of birth control. There will always be a few women that allow boyfriends or parents decide to terminate a pregnancy they may have wanted to continue. There will always be a few exceptions, just as there are dudes that refused or didn’t think to use a condom or guys that didn’t fully understand the birds and the bees before jumping in the sheets. There will always be these exceptions, but most people can (and should) be The Decider in their lives. Politicians & the Powers That Be really need to start respecting our sovereignty and our right to self-determination. They are not elected to office because we need Mommies and Daddies in the Capitol dictating our daily activities. They are there to protect us from the tyranny of State enforced morality and to uphold the Constitution of the United States, which protects our privacy and our independence on such matters as determined by the Supreme Court in Roe vs. Wade nearly 35 f**cking years ago.

In conclusion, here’s a “Fuck That Shit” Award for South Dakota, the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals, and backwards misogynistic politicians that continue to insist women are all fucking child-like morons. Honorable mentions go to the other southern states with similar “informed consent” legislation – Florida, Oklahoma, Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi.

Further reading on the subject can be found in the following locations:

- Consenting Adults: An article for The American Prospect by Sarah Blustain explores the legal aspects of the case and what they translate to in laymen’s terms.

- The Guttmacher Institute has an interesting (and informative) policy review, penned by Rachel Benson Gold and Elizabeth Nash, about the principles of informed consent laws.

- Feministing.com had a post back in April, when Oklahoma’s law was passed, that makes some very good points. Read the reader comments for a wider perspective on the matter.

Today’s Happenings

** R.I.P. George Carlin. Thanks for all the genius-cloaked-in-humor you dispensed throughout the years.

** Now that Hill’s out of the running, I suppose it’s back to tired & shallow reporting on the feminist front. This op-ed piece on the media’s 180 with regard to female’s in the political realm is thought provoking.

** Pro-lifer’s that fail to live up to their own dogmatic values make me sick. And inspire laughter at their hypocracy. Follow the link HERE & read the story.

I Love the Internet

Getting stoned and watching Vh1’s I Love the [insert decade here] series is terribly entertaining. I say “terribly” because it is essentially a few comedians & random pop  culture icons repeating similar commentary, very base observations reiterated five or six times. Not exactly deep, but entertaining none the less. My favorite part of the shows is the “I LOVE that song!” moments it inspires. Today’s debut of I Love the New Millenium is responsible for the following playlist. A little bit of musical genius, a little bit of laughable pop swill, a little bit of nostalgia, results in an embarrassing sing-a-long. Some of these “gems” are best enjoyed when home alone (Nelly, I am so referring to you).

Before our booties were going “da-dah, da-dah”, how ever did us mere mortals choeograph our bar dance moves to the music? Sisqo revolutionized how we thought of our underwear…and in turn, how we thought of ourselves - life altering lyricism (like that corn ball over dramatic moral? Yeah, I’ve watched all the I Love the… episodes. Thank you, Michael Ian Black).

Nelly’s “Country Grammer” gave us that goal-inspiring line “Fucking lesbian twins, nah” and I, personally, have not been the same since. You haven't officially "made it to the big leagues" until you to are fucking lesbian twins, y'know?

The Who’s Baba O’Riley is a fixture on any of my Favorite Songs of All Time lists.

Back when Will Smith was The Fresh Prince, he and DJ Jazzy Jeff gave us this timeless ode to the Summer months. If you bumped this out your trunk right now, you’d still be hella’ tight. I promise.

Positive K’s “I Got A Man” reminds us just how bad the fashion was circa 1993.

G. Love’s fun and sorta’ sexy song about the perks of the “Booty Call” is a classic. I like the fact that the chick in question isn’t manipulated into the booty call situation, she is the instigator. You go, Girl.

Eve’s “Love is Blind” is a total downer. Excellent song, but in no way is it “uplifting”. Sorry. I was feelin’ it for a moment.

Ms. Jill Scott puts it down with “Gettin’ in the Way” & all y’all better heed her advice and back down before you smacked down.

George Carlin tellin’ it how it is

Proof! See! I’m not crazy!

Most folks listen to my conspiracy theories regarding the City of Stockton, it’s beloved developers, and the complacent local media just to be kind. They nod their heads, offer half-hearted agreements, & their internal monologue goes something like this: “What the fuck is this bitch talking about? Did she skip her meds today?”. Fortunately, I am undaunted by the skepticism of others; I have plenty of my own, Thank you very much! Anyhow, all y’all nay-sayers (or nay-thinkers) can’t possibly deny the blatant example of my Stock-town conspiracy perched on the front page of today’s paper. The headline read: Brown puts pressure on Stockton. According to The Record, the city’s General Plan is being attacked by leftist-tree huggers backed by the state Attorney General Jerry Brown. The tone of the article suggests that Brown is involving himself in issues that do not concern him and is probably motivated by his own political ambitions (Governor in 2010!). I planned on relaying The Record’s retarded opinion sarcastically, but those two sentences annoyed me enough. Here’s the deal: Stockton, like other cities of similar size, has developed a General Plan (The Record calls it “landmark”, just like they called the stadium downtown a “can’t lose situation for the city of Stockton”). Our General Plan conveniently falls in line with the business plans of A.G. Spanos and Grupe; it allows previous zoning regulations to be disregarded so that these cocksuckers can erect more housing developments on the edges of town (houses that Stocktonians can’t afford, that the current infrastructure can’t support, and that the local community cannot possibly benefit from). The Sierra Club and the Morada Area Association (residents of the eastern edge of SJ County) sued the city, charging that the Plan was environmentally hazardous, detrimental to the community, and just plain sucky. These concerns should have been taken seriously by City Council, by the mayor, by the local news media, by the citizenry since our air & water quality is atrocious. We’ve been cited by the State plenty of times for our ham-handed approach to the Valley’s environment & any resident will attest to the nasty taste of our air. Still, the local government and it’s subordinate media arm present the law suit as an annoyance, not an actual concern. Attorney General Jerry Brown is considering intervening in the law suit to force Stockton to address the concerns of it’s inhabitants and abide by state laws that are clearly broken in the General Plan– y’know, doing the job we elected him to do. But, The Record clearly implies that his involvement is not wanted by the political machine running this joint, as evidenced by the following excerpts from the article:

• “It is not unusual for Brown to involve himself in local land-use policies. Since the state in 2006 enacted legislation requiring California to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, Brown has pressured agencies across the state to account for the impact of growth on emissions blamed for global warming.” READ: This mother-fucker is always getting in other people’s business.
• “Stockton's General Plan refers several times to the phasing of development. It also addresses global warming, having been revised to do so prior to the plan's adoption, after activists complained. The plan obligates the city to adopt policies requiring that new development reduce greenhouse gas emissions.” READ: What more do these whiny Environ-pussies want us to do? Gawd!
• “Representatives of developers A.G. Spanos Cos. and The Grupe Co. - two companies with significant interests in the General Plan - had heard Brown was interested in Stockton but said they did not know to what end.” READ: The only people that need to be concerned with the city’s General Plan are the one’s posed to make a killing on it.
• “Brown, a Democrat, is a former governor of California and mayor of Oakland and is widely considered a likely candidate for governor in 2010.” READ: So all this bullshit is just part of his political agenda!

Dudes & dudettes, read the article and try to believe the bullshit contained within. It is next to impossible.

The legacy of Baxter Dunn continues

Everyone’s favorite former Sheriff, Baxter Dunn, is up to his ridiculously slippery ways again! This time the bastard has weaseled his way into another Slap-On-The-Wrist jail sentence and another excuse laden Record article of support. Dunn’s participation in a corruption scandal a few years back earned him a mini-stay in a minimum security prison, followed by house arrest and probation. His probation status is still in effect until December. Earlier this year, Dunn rear-ended a vehicle on the highway & scored himself a D.U.I. conviction. This is a violation of his parole & Thursday’s hearing was supposed to punish him for this transgression. A federal judge sentenced him to a meager 30 day stay in a minimum security prison, even though he could have gotten up to nine months. If I was a parolee with a D.U.I., I doubt such leniency would be shown! The Record published the following excuses to ease our questioning minds, to assure the public that Dunn’s bullshit punishment is completely fair & unbalanced (italics are my comments):

• [U.S. District Judge Morrison C.] England said he chose the shorter term because Dunn showed "outstanding" behavior on federal probation since pleading guilty in 2005 following an FBI corruption probe. Drunk driving accidents aren’t really considered ‘outstanding’ actions in my book.
• England said he was disappointed to seeing Dunn again, but he called the recent arrest an "aberration." The definition of “aberration” is an instance that strays from the right or normal way, so the judge believed that acknowledging Dunn’s DUI as a parole violation was not the usual way the courts handle these cases. I’ve known plenty of parolees & he’s right. Usually, the court throws the book at them.
• Stockton attorney Albert Ellis said Dunn's health challenges also played a role in the judge's short sentence. Ellis declined to say specifically what ails Dunn, but Ellis said his client's unresolved health problems are "serious and significant." Since when do the personal issues of a convicted felon effect the sentencing? Honestly?
• Ellis said the month long sentence was adequate, considering other repercussions the drunken driving conviction have had in Dunn's life. His driver's license was suspended, so he can't operate his water truck, Dunn's new vocation. Once again, run this one past a parolee & see what they think about it.

Puke over the entire article HERE.

Employment is apparently a male occupation

The boob tube is awash in “reality” programming and has been for sometime. The genre’s newest products – those day-to-day chronicles of blue collar jobs – annoy and bore me more than any of the previous incarnations involving elimination rounds, confessionals, and/or tokens of faux affection in the form of roses or oversized clocks. These new shows are specifically male-oriented, diluted in testosterone, and DULL AS ALL HELL. The culprits include:

* Ice Road Truckers: Another of The History Channel’s non-history programs, this one documents the trials & tribulations of truckers driving Canada’s Dempster Highway. The Male-centricity of the show is underscored by the confessions of the trucker’s wives – worried & proud of their men! The fact that the truckers are blowing through untold amounts of fossil fuels to service the DeBeer’s diamond mines and the show gives no lip service to the environmental or human rights aspects of the industry doesn’t surprise me, but it does annoy me. Unless someone finally dies on that God Damned ice road, I don’t give a fuck what those boys are up to.

* Ax Men: Apparently, the History Channel thinks this type of show is quality programming, because they’ve hit us with another version of Ice Road. This time the show details the daily activities of loggers in the Pacific Northwest. Once again, women are non-existent in the Ax Men world, unless they are expressing concern for the logger’s safety (like a good wife or mother). Also, the environmental aspect of logging goes un-disclosed which makes me wary of the political motivations behind this show. “How dare you question the noble & historic profession of logging! People can die, you know!”

* Tougher in Alaska: Also the fault of The History Channel. This show chronicles various professions & aspects of life in Alaska, but still remains the realm of the Penis. *Yawn*

* Deadliest Catch: The God-Father of this kind of reality show, aired on The Discovery Channel, and probably the one that I have the least amount of beef with. Crab fishermen tend to be men & it actually is semi-entertaining.

* Black Gold: Tru TV has entered the fray with their own Man Job epic, this time the industry in question is the PR-needy purveyors of fossil fuels. Seriously? They aren’t even trying to hide their motivations anymore? See my issues with Ax Men since the problem with Black Gold is the same.

Dudes need shows too, I know, and obviously someone is watching these programs, but is it too much to ask for a little more equality in representation? Women do make up 46% of the American workforce, after all. I bet I’ll regret saying this when some network launches Secretaries! or The Secret Lives of Nurses, but whatever.

When cable TV is your boyfriend dates come in half-hour increments

I’ve complained about television programing being Super-Sucky way too many times to watch it as often as I do, but what is a single broke alcoholic supposed to do on weeknights? I do more than my fair share of reading, I blog, I play video games, and I entertain my two cats but sometimes the allure of the boob tube is just too damned strong to resist. Lucky for me, some of my most favorite shows are just starting new seasons so I’m not stuck watching re-runs of South Park and Family Guy all the time. Ever the critic, I am pretty fickle when I dole out positive reviews of TV shows (even if the cast includes Super Hotties). My TV recommendations are trustworthy, as a result, and they are as follows:

** Weeds: This Showtime drama/comedy is in it’s fourth season & if you haven’t managed to watch the program yet, run (don’t walk) to the nearest house with premium cable and catch up! Of course, you can always use your trusty-dusty internet connection (and a non-Explorer browser) to watch the entire series as well. The plot centers around a newly widowed mother of two, Nancy Botwin, and her struggle to maintain her suburban lifestyle by selling that sweet ganja referenced in the title. Her partners-in-crime include the Oh-So-Cute Conrad (her Tutor in the ways of the game), his auntie Heylia (Nancy’s No-Nonsense connect), City Councilman Doug Wilson (played by the ever funny Kevin Nealon), Nancy’s idiot brother-in-law Andy, and my favorite character of all – Celia Hodes, the stereotypical suburban know-it-all Bitch Lady. Weeds is full of complex characters, unpredictable plot twists, and questionable morals making the show one of my all-time favorites.

** My Boys: I doubted this comedy at first, but after watching the entire first & second seasons via TBS’ website I started counting down the days until the third season debuted. This show is centered around seven homies in Chicago: PJ (a tomboy-ish sports writer, Cubs fan, and the shows narrator), Stephanie (PJ’s girly best friend & relationship councilor), Andy (PJ’s older brother, played by Jim Gaffigan), Bobby (PJ’s co-worker & one of the show’s hotties), Brenden (one of the show’s other hotties, PJ’s roommate), Mike (the dip-shit friend), Kenny (the ugly friend & Stephanie’s nemesis). The buddies drink heavily, play poker, & shoot the shit just like you or I…except much funnier.

** Californication: Another gem from Showtime, this one starring the ex-X-filer David Duchovny as the cranky writer/Playboy Hank Moody. He drinks, he fucks, and he is unapologetic about it. His ex has left him for a real douche-bag, his daughter is entering adolescence, and his writer’s block is killing his career but Moody tries to make the best of his existence in Los Angeles even though he fucking hates it. I was surprised that I liked this show, since it ain't exactly feminist-approved, but I was entertained by season 1 and expect the same from season 2.

Common sense ain't all that common

The House Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services, Education, and Related Agencies (TRANSLATION: the H.O.R. click that decides how much money is spent on non-military shit that actually benefits the American population) voted yesterday to continue funding the Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE) program, even though plenty of recent research has proved it to be counter-productive. Apparently, ideology is much more important than the welfare of America’s adolescents!

The CBAE program, according to the Department of Health and Human Services, distributes tax dollars directly to public & private organizations that develop and implement sex education programs that focus solely on abstinence (discussion of sexual activity is not allowed within these programs & is reason to have funding revoked). These programs (according to the government site on the subject) teach that sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects; that bearing children out-of-wedlock is likely to have harmful consequences for the child, the child’s parents, and society; and that a mutually faithful monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of human sexual activity. Most adults can see the problems with this curriculum quite clearly, but apparently Congress cannot. They still set aside millions each year to fund programs that tell our children that having sex with anyone but your spouse will fuck up your head, your life, your body, your parents, and society itself. But we can’t get universal health care…

Even if common sense isn’t enough to convince a Representative on the Appropriations Subcommittee that CBAE is a waste of public funds, one would think that all the research on the subject might sway their opinions on the matter. For example:

• Mathematica Policy Research, Inc. released their study of abstinence-only policies in early 2007. The 164-page report concluded that such programs were ineffective in preventing teen sexual activity. The programs didn’t have an impact on when teens “got down to business” or how many partners they hooked up with.
• The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy released their study in late 2007 that also concluded that abstinence-only programs had no effect on the sexual behavior of teens. One of the researchers even suggested that comprehensive sex ed arms adolescents with information that allows them to be more confident in their ability to say ‘no’ to unwanted sexual behavior.
• 17 States have refused to accept CBAE funding because the program is ineffective. This should be a pretty clear message to Congress that CBAE ain't cool. Wouldn’t you think?

The clearest diss on the Appropriations Subcommittee decision was articulated by the director of the ACLU's Washington Legislative Office, Caroline Fredrickson:

"It’s hard to imagine a good reason why, in these tight economic times, Congress would intentionally flush taxpayer dollars down the drain by spending them on disproven, ineffective abstinence-only-until-marriage programs. We are floored that they continue to ignore study after study, and the consensus of the pubic health community, all concluding that these programs censor vital health care information, teach gender stereotypes, discriminate against lesbian and gay teens, and in some cases promote religion in the classroom in violation of the Constitution."

That's what I'm saying.

Vag-tastic News: Rage Against the Pussy Edition

• As of this morning, the UN Security Council classifies rape as a war tactic and the Secretary General Ban Ki-moon acknowledged the “unspeakable proportion” of violence against women in war-torn regions. Historically, war ravaged populations have been subjected to rape and sexual abuse from occupying powers and, until now, this was rarely talked about as a war crime. The UN resolution, that passed with a unanimous vote, describes sexual violence as "a tactic of war to humiliate, dominate, instill fear in, disperse and/or forcibly relocate civilian members of a community or ethnic group". Speakers in favor of the resolution’s passage identified the former Yugoslavia, Sudan's Darfur region, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Rwanda and Liberia as regions where deliberate sexual violence had occurred on a mass scale. Our own forces in Iraq have been convicted of disgusting sexual violence as well. This resolution will allow rape and sexual battery charges to be tried in a war crimes tribunal (along with crimes like genocide, using child soldiers, and unlawful deportation). We’ll eventually see how this effects the U.S. war efforts in the Middle East if a war crimes tribunal ever hears a case against the American occupation. Highly unlikely, but possible, I guess.
• A BBC report on the new enforcement policy in Iran that is cracking down on dress code violations was posted on their site earlier today. The article claims that police are arresting women if their headscarves do not fully cover their hair or their clothes show their figures too clearly and men with “inappropriate hairstyles”. The dress code originated with the Islamic Revolution of 1979 but is widely ignored, especially in urban centers, even though the penalties include public lashing, imprisonment, or hefty fines. The article says that raids like the current one are usually conducted during the hot summer months, since they tend to net more women in less clothes & are therefore more effective. Can you even imagine getting arrested for donning a sun dress or a pair of shorts in 110+ degree weather? The whole idea that God demands women cover every inch of their person to avoid being raped is wholly ridiculous to me & it baffles me that entire nations legislate such menial bullshit. I am totally sympathetic to the Iranian ladies being bullied into wardrobe submission over there. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to those of us able to decide on our daily wardrobe, but it’s serious business elsewhere & we shouldn’t take our freedoms for granted. Thank goddess for our clothes sovereignty, eh?
• In the wake of R. Kelly’s acquittal, the Duke rape debacle, and a recent HBO documentary on Roman Polaski that glossed over his infamous statutory rape case, it is pretty clear that our society is due for an honest discussion about rape, sexual violence, and the like. Just reading the posts over at Jezebel about the aforementioned documentary is enough to make my stomach turn. A thirteen year old girl is capable of making many decisions, but is it so hard to believe that she is also in danger of being victimized by grown-ass men? I know that I am smarter than most thirteen year old boys I meet & I probably could push the young bucks into any situation I wanted, whether or not they thought it was a good idea, because I am a bit more intelligent and capable of manipulation, right? People really have to start being a lot-tle more empathetic in these situations & remember just how easily they were manipulated in their early teens, before they pass judgement on others.

John Mc Cunt…er…

This video is political-comedy gold.

Some people are assholes

If you live in the Central area of Stockton, you might be familiar with the old dude that walks around the neighborhood and sells ice cream from his cart. Apparently, according to the news crew that was stationed outside my house yesterday, two dickheads rolled up on the Paleta-man & pistol-whipped him. They jacked him for his hard earned cash & sped off. The perpetrators were described as two black men, aged 20-30. If you happened to see anything that might be helpful in the quest to bust these pricks, holla' at the authorities. Next time you hear the vigilant paleta-man cruising the block, go buy a couple popscicles & help cover his losses.

Update on Stockton’s Trigger Happy Cops

As if the original articles didn’t justify the gun-welding officers actions, The Record’s follow-up piece attempted to villainize the two people shot by the SPD so that we can be sure that they deserved it. One was described as a transgendered woman with a history of mental illness and the other was identified as an increasingly agitated new-comer to the neighborhood. I hope this information has eased your concerns. Have no worries about our over-zealous police force because they only gun down the crazy, gender-bending, transplants of Stockton.

Sing it, Sister

Kick ass! Lisa Simpson is a feminist icon! Right up there with Daria, Ms Pac Man, and Jem! Peep the video of her best moments HERE. Are you still under the impression that such icons are unnessasary? If so, you've been totally mislead, Doll Face. In this day and age, we ain't above cheap sexist bullshit (as documented in this video).

My brain hurts now

Marry Your Baby Daddy Day? Seriously? Read about it HERE. Sponsored by Reclaim the Streets Ministries of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, the multi-wedding event was originally developed by Marianne Reid, a Brooklyn resident. "I feel this is just the beginning of a national effort to put marriage at the center of these relationships," Reid said. ???? I don't understand these people that try to promote marriage as some End-All-Be-All fix. Obviously, these Baby Daddy's were already involved in the upbringing of their children. How about focusing attention on the S.O.B.'s that aren't? How about a national effort to handle the deadbeat daddy's that are so numerous across America?

R. Kelly - Apparently just another wealthy celebrity that didn't do it

Wha’ the...? How did...? Un-fucking-believable. R. Kelly was acquitted on all child porn counts, 14 charges in all. Even though there was a video of him fucking (and pissing on) a 13-year-old girl, R. was found innocent. Wow. Read the CNN piece HERE. To lift my spirits on the subject (and revel in the fact that, to me, R. will forever be a perv-o), here's Dave Chappell's classic video & it's remix.

Original "Piss on You" video

And the equally hilarious Re-Mix.

All the fluff that’s fit to print

The Record, my hometown sorry-excuse-for-a-newspaper, never ceases to annoy me. The editing staff manages to ignore issues that might actually concern local residents, while glorifying the city’s real estate developing elites, on a daily basis. Crime is reported in a manner that suggests it’s existence is some kind of unexplainable phenomenon and the direct link between poverty and violent crime statistics is rarely addressed. The upcoming mayoral election isn’t talked about in any real way – like discussion of the candidate’s platforms or whatnot. Basically, The Record serves as a cheerleader for City Hall and fosters the belief that local government should not concern any self-respecting Stocktonian. That having been said, I guess it is only appropriate to call out a few overlooked & underreported stories that caught my eye (even if Record staffers were apparently blind to them).

• Police Brutality & Excessive Force: The fact that Stockton’s police force is corrupt and overzealous is not news. Anyone that has had the misfortune of ending up on the receiving end of one of their famous ass-beatings will agree that the SPD don’t fuck around. How The Record manages to tap-dance around all the murders committed by our Boys in Blue is beyond me. They report them, yes, but the tone of the “articles” always suggests that the slayings were justified. I don’t know about you, but I’m not OK with our police force killing members of our community wily-nilly. A police officer should be more than willing to take a bullet or risk injury before their gun is drawn, much less fired. That is part of the risk involved with police work & if civilians like us are more likely to be shot than they are, we should be the ones receiving that hefty pension & benefits package! Still doubt the severity of the cop problem in Stockton? Today’s Record reported not one, but two instances of trigger-happy coppers doling out their unique brand of justice. The first shooting occurred on Sunday night inside an apartment on Dave Brubeck Way, across from the UOP campus. Officer Pete Smith, the SPD spokesman, said a “distraught” man in his mid- to late 50’s was shot by one or more officers responding to neighbor’s complaints that the victim was threatening to hurt himself. The officers engaged in “fruitless negotiations” with the man, who became noticeably “agitated and aggressive”. They were unable to subdue him using a taser, so one or two police officers felt they had “no choice but to defend themselves”. The Record mentions this shooting under the headline Man shot near Pacific, as if the story didn’t warrant a more scathing title such as “Distraught citizen gunned down by unapologetic police officers”. Seems a little ridiculous to me that cops dispatched to prevent a man from self-inflicted injury end up putting the guy in the hospital. The Record notes that the cops arrived on the scene at 7:45 PM, but it doesn’t mention the time of the shooting or when the man was admitted to the hospital which would be a vital piece of information when assessing whether or not the police spent an adequate amount of time in their “fruitless negotiations” before pumping the man full of lead, don’t you think? The second shooting also occurred on Sunday night. This time a 57-year-old man wielding a knife on South California Street was killed by police gunfire. According to The Record’s “in-depth” article on the instance, the man charged the police officers with his knife and was gunned down. Apparently, no further explanation is necessary. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see the need to shoot an almost 60-year-old man armed with a knife to death. I don’t buy it that these officers weren’t capable of disarming the perpetrator using any other methods. “Shoot first, ask questions later” isn’t an acceptable game plan in a free society.
• Correctional Institutions as Economic Blessings: The Central Valley already houses more than it’s fair share of California’s incarcerated population. In Stockton we have the DeWitt Nelson Youth Correctional Facility and the N. A. Chaderjian Youth Correctional Facility. In Tracy, there is the Deuel Vocational Institution (or DVI). Mule Creek State Prison and the Preston State Youth Correctional Facility are in Ione and the Sierra Conservation Camp is in Jamestown. There is the Folsom State Prison, directly across the street from California State Prison, Sacramento. The California Medical Facility and the Solano State Prison are just up the way in Vacaville. Even though 3 out of every 5 California prisoners are committed to prison in Southern California, only 18 of our 33 state prisons are located down south. In 1982, state legislation was passed that required Los Angeles County to build another facility that has yet to be erected BUT, for some reason, the state continues to persuade the Central Valley to accept yet another correctional facility. Stockton is a prime candidate for prison expansion & our trusty-dusty newspaper heralds prospective developments as Good For The Community, even though we already have a soaring crime rate that cannot be helped by introducing more of the criminal element here. We are expected to believe that the former youth prison location in southeast Stockton being turned into a male prisoner medical center (sick people jail) benefits the community because it is expected to create 1,200 new jobs. ??? Because a handful of jobs outweighs the increase in crime that such development will inevitably bring? Right… Read about the newest plan to stick Stockton with the State’s responsibilities HERE. Pair this newest development of the state’s first re-entry facility going up where the women’s prison used to stand & you’ve got Stockton/San Joaquin County single handedly carrying the state’s prison population problem on our backs. Joy.

On Jealousy

I am going to come totally clean with this post, so give me a little credit & try not to diss my irrational train of thought to harshly.

I am just as likely as any other female to fall victim to the evil virus known as jealousy. Until someone invents a vaccine, I suspect that my immune system won’t be of any use in overcoming the affliction. It creeps up unexpectedly and quickly gains control of my normally rational mind, souring my mood and instigating a bout of depression. Jealousy is clearly the creation of some un-Godly being, since I can’t fathom when it would possibly be of any good use. One of it’s most destructive aspects is it’s entirely self contained nature. Jealousy is born inside our own psyches, caused by our own self-doubt and insecurities, and is directed at other people that may or may not even know what the hell is going on inside our twisted lil’ heads. Friends, acquaintances, kin, co-workers, or random passer-by's might be the focus of our jealous thoughts, but they don’t have to actually do anything to inspire our jealousy. Other emotions; like anger or lust; usually don’t arise without some participation from another person. Jealousy, on the other hand, can rage behind an otherwise calm facade without the other person even noticing what the hell is going on. This makes jealousy especially dangerous to personal relationships. The ‘J’ word is truly a stealth Weapon of Mass Destruction.

I was stricken by jealousy so intense this past week that I wasted an entire weekend. Unbeknownst to a friend of mine, I was overcome by my irritation and envy while we were out on the town. Our outing was intended to lift her spirits and make her new found single state a little more bearable. As any friend would, I was playing the role of Louise to her Thelma. By the evening’s end, I had grown weary of playing second fiddle. I’m pretty sure that my jealousy was masked well, since I can’t remember making any snide comments or throwing any hissy fits. Never the less, I feel terrible about it. I feel guilty and mean because she was in need of an ego-boost and I shouldn’t have be so bitchy inside my head.

Fuck Jealousy.

On Boredom

I am not the type to take boredom in stride. I despise being bored. This is probably why I think about unimportant, purely entertaining, shit so often; I am simply trying to fill the void of time with stuff that amuses me. My rants and rambles on topics such as what I would wish for if I stumbled upon a genie in a bottle or the best time of year to overthrow an oppressive military government serve the same purpose as television programs or fiction novels. Instead of reflecting on my dull and insignificant existence in times of inactivity, I escape into Imagination Land. Unfortunately, I am not blessed with the creativity that some folks use to compose music or write screenplays. Nope, I am severely lacking in creativity. Imagination, yes. Creativity, not so much. The product of my silly thoughts becomes fodder for future conversations, instead of a best selling book or epic comic book series. I can’t draw or sing, I can’t play an instrument or understand poetic symbolism, so my boredom is entirely unproductive. In this world where commercial value and tangible results are paramount, my boredom proves my suspected worthlessness and, in turn, depresses the hell out of me. This being the case, I’ll do all most anything to avoid being bored. I’ll write down my current opinions in blog format, I’ll read books and periodicals for hours at a time, I’ll watch all the special features (including the director’s commentary track) on a DVD, I’ll dismantle a toaster and cover it’s outsides with a collage made of clippings from Rolling Stone Magazine, I’ll do just about anything.

There you have it. That’s what I think about boredom.

McCain in ‘08? Be afraid, be very afraid

It seems rather obvious to people like me that Barack Obama will be the nation's next President, but I have been wrong about these kind of things before. I tend to underestimate the power of The Dark Side on occasion, I guess. That being the case, even though I am certain of a Democratic sweep of the Executive in November, I might as well continue preaching fire & brimstone if McCain wins to ensure the support of frightened citizens. Conservatives win that way, so why shouldn't we?

John McCain sucks, because...

1. he has consistently voted against federally funded comprehensive sex education in our schools.

2. but then voted in support of Bush's "Partial Birth Abortion Act".

3. Supported the Global Gag Rule that eliminated federal funds to international programs fighting AIDS that advocated more than abstinence only as a means of disease prevention.

4. Voted in opposition to a program that would have provided funds for emergency contraceptives to be on hand for rape victims at police stations & local hospitals.

5. He's old & Obama is much better to look at.

6. He's militarily minded &, quite frankly, I'm over that kind of Cold War bullshit.

7. McCain has sold out his brothers in uniform by voting in support of budget cuts that stripped health & other veterans benefits, has flip-flopped on the torture issue, and has expressed no intention of ending the Iraq debacle anytime soon.

8. He's rockin' a serious comb-over. Never trust a man with a comb-over like that. Trust me.

9. Wouldn't it be kick ass to watch the talking heads on CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC nit-pick every aspect of Barack's life in an attempt to sway voters to McCain's camp, only to have Obama win & the media fumble all over itself to back

track in the early months of his presidency? I think so.

There’s no place like home

Having been born & raised in the city of Stockton, California gives a person like me insight to some of society's greatest ills. There's the ever-present class warfare played out in our local courts, in our streets, in our schools. There is the complete detachment of elected officials from the populace, resulting in the ludicrous budget decisions that leave the community high and dry so that City Council can worship at the alter of the All Mighty Real Estate Developer(S). Our economic stagnation and sky-high unemployment rates leave many Stocktonians in poverty, still others barely keeping their heads above water, and even our middle class is stable at best. The housing crisis led to record numbers of home foreclosures here, so many brand spanking new housing developments look like ghost towns. Our city is unique in it's racial diversity, yet anyone that lives here will attest to the fact that our neighborhoods are clearly segregated along racial & ethnic lines. The local police department is notorious for it's callousness, it's corruption, and it's selective application of law enforcement. Our schools under perform on standardized achievement exams (meaning the district's federal funds will be reduced) and our high school dropout rate is one of the state's worst. In the center of the city, the University of the Pacific sequesters itself off from the actual Stocktonians (new students are assured that nothing of interest to them is found south of Harding Way & it's best that they stay north of March Lane whenever possible). All the while, the local newspaper, The Record, fans the flames of our discontent by reporting on gang violence as if it were a natural phenomena rather than a matter we expect the police force to address (if not solve). Our very own Billionaire Bush Supporter, A. G. Spanos, is practically royalty in these parts (treated as such by the regional news media, city & county politicians, the business elite, and anyone that is anyone 'round here). Yes, Stockton is a political dissident's wet dream. A place where enough dirty underhanded crap goes on & actual glaring problems are ignored that one can't help but comment on the stench of bullshit.

It's not enough to complain about it, though. Anyone that has spent any extended period of time here has a knack for talking shit about Stockton and all of us natives want little more than to escape our valley town, one way or another. This attitude has gotten us nowhere and it's about time people realized it. Why don't we start thinking about solutions, rather than excuses? How about endless tirades about the positive aspects of our community, instead of always reminding each other about it's shitty moments? We need to expect more than piddley-shit gestures & half-hearted excuses from our elected officials & law enforcement personnel. We need to see Stockton as a community, however temporary we intend our stays to be. Like it nor not, you're here now & that makes it home. Thoughts?

Relationship Advice from a Spinster

Something is very wrong with a large portion of the male population. Maybe it's in the way we raise our boys, maybe it's because society breeds them with an undeserved sense of entitlement and self importance. Maybe it's a side effect from the fluoride in the water supply or because the Cold War's nuclear weapon testing permanently mutated the male genetic code. What ever the reason that so many men suffer from Boy Disease, the effects are clear... most of us straight gals are convinced that Boys Suck. Clearly, homosexuality is not a choice because so many of us would have jumped ship that the future of the human race would be imperiled if it were. On that note, here's a list of behaviors & beliefs that are symptomatic of Boy Disease so that you, Dear Reader, might be able to diagnose it before it's too late. In no way is this list comprehensive, so feel free to chime in!

1. Men that continually blame their misdeeds as resulting from their experiences with former girlfriends that did them wrong, weak minded mothers (or mother figures), or the general nastiness of most women. He constantly says that ALL women are psycho. A healthy specimen may bring up these previous events, but does not rationalize the present by reviving old ghosts.

2. Men that expect forgiveness just because they have uttered the phrase "I'm Sorry". They grow impatient when everything is not forgiven & forgotten as quickly as they like, completely ignoring the fact that forgiveness is a process that cannot be rushed or coerced. Healthy males respect this.

3. Men that don't even bother to produce new excuses for habitual behavior. They dole out the same excuse that worked before, which is boring as well as bullshit. He never apologizes, or he apologizes, but in an oily way that implies that he won't make a commitment to not do it again, or in some way implies that YOU were the cause of the bad behavior - that you "triggered" him or "pushed his dysfunctional buttons".

4. Men that pick fights with their significant others so that they are free to do something that they know she will not approve of. Healthy men won't stoop to such chicken-shit ploys to do what they want & usually wouldn't have to, since their mates aren't paranoid about what they do without supervision.

5. Men that don't acknowledge their equal responsibility to their children, their lease agreements, their relationships, or other mutual engagements.

6. Men that appear allergic to honesty. At least when speaking to women.

7. Men that are selfish lovers, despite the fact that you give kick-ass BJs.

8. Men that expect your understanding of every emotional defect he may process, but disregards your emotional trauma as a Female Thing that you need to Get Over.The only thing he EVER says when you are in need of empathy/support is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Or, in his true narcissistic fashion, he will mention how he has felt, or feels, the EXACT same way; hence; bringing the spotlight back over to him. AGAIN.

9. Men that suffer from Dangling Carrot Syndrome. This person throws money around to hook you, and make you believe that he is a generous person. Watch closely and you will see his attitude about money change over the months and years that you know him. The moment you are "hooked" either by moving in together or getting married, all of a sudden he is concerned about expenses and you'll find yourself nickel-and-dimed at every turn.

10. Everyone hates him - your friends, your parents, your siblings, people you randomly meet on the street, etc. This is a great indicator of Boy Disease, because people that love you wouldn't be likely to mislead you in this respect (if they are the type to do that, you might want to rethink your choice in homies too).

Learn it, know it, live it, People. You can thank me later (or remind me later, because I'm no less prone to picking up bastards than anyone else. Probably more so, in some cases.).

The television is my roommate and sometimes I don’t mind

There are some entertaining shows on TV these days or at least there is some televised shit I enjoying staring at in half hour increments. Maybe it's because I went through all my library books already & am too damned lazy to head ten blocks away to check out more ('cause daylight sucks), but whatever! I think PMS increases my susceptibility to television media. Anyhow, here's a few gems I'm currently stuck on.

* Ugly Betty: My childhood included a healthy dose of Soap Operas (All My Children, General Hospital, and One Life to Live, in particular) followed by my adolescence partially spent watching teen dramas (90210, My So Called Life, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Now, my existence is colored by the antics of Betty Suarez and the self absorbed staff at Mode Magazine. It's tradition, damn it.

* My Boys: I am eagerly awaiting the new season of this sitcom for good reason. It's actually funny and relatively realistic. The show centers around the lives of a group of friends headed up by PJ, a female sportswriter & terminal tomboy. PJ & her "boys" drink like fish (no girly drinks a la Sex and the City) and navigate life in Chicago like normal fucking people that are exceptionally funny. Plus, a few of the "boys" are fucking hotties.

* Trading Spouses: I wasn't a fan when the show first debuted but reruns on CMT recently caught my interest. The idea is that two families (typically nuclear Husband, Wife, Kids family units) switch one spouse (usually the Mom) for a week & the camera crew documents the ensuing conflict. After the week, the displaced spouses are responsible for doling out $50,000 to their "new" family as they see fit. The families are picked to contrast as much as possible (think: Evangelical Christians vs. Atheists, Hippie-dippy vs. Consumer Oriented, NRA vs. Pacifists) & this makes for some serious head-butting. Good shit, in my opinion. An excellent example of the crazy people this show documents can be found HERE.

That bitch is nuts, for real.

* The Daily Show / The Colbert Report: Because sometimes the only appropriate response to American politics is laughter.

* Scrubs: I have the biggest crush on J.D. even though the nerdy white dude wouldn't turn my head in real life. And the character of Dr. Cox recites some of the best Ranting dialogue ever televised.

* The Oblongs: I think this underrated cartoon could very well be based in Stockton. The program is a critique of the class based value system in America that centers on a poor family living in a Valley that has been contaminated by the toxic waste runoff of the wealthy community in the Hills. The Valley people are deformed/disfigured (I think the little girl has a penis growing out of her head) & the community is governed by the Rule of the Wealthy. Funny, yet intelligent animation.

The state is never wrong, but…

* Remember the Yearning for Zion Mormon sect that was raided in Texas a couple months ago? The 400 children that were seized by the state based on unfounded child abuse accusations have been returned to their parents because the Texas Supreme Court ruled that officials failed to prove they were facing any immediate danger. This is a classic case of persecution, in my opinion. 400 children were ripped from their families because Texas law enforcement made a judgement call without evidence to support their actions & now these kids surely have an understandable distrust of the outside world. Super job, Texas! If any abuse was occurring (which I'm pretty sure is the case), the abused aren't likely to seek help outside the Ranch in the future. All the gun-jumping Texas officials can say now is "My bad". Oops. What I can't understand is how the state is able to impose regulations on the parents since they haven't been convicted of any wrong doing, The parents are required to take parenting classes, aren't permitted to leave the state, the children must submit to medical evaluations, welfare workers are allowed to conduct unannounced visits, and any trip over 100 miles within the state must be OKed by state officials. How is that legal? Unless every family is the state of Texas is regulated by the same conditions, I can't possibly see how the court expects their ruling to stand up under close scrutiny.

*The Bolivian government has seized control of it's natural gas pipeline that was previously operated by Royal Dutch Shell & Ashmore Energy International in a move that will inevitably piss off our corporate controllers. No doubt Bush & Co, will decry the actions of Bolivia as being influenced by Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, but Bolivian President Evo Morales made their reasons pretty clear when he said "They [the above mentioned companies] wanted to be bosses, and have us be the employees. We're a small country - sometimes they call us underdeveloped - but we have lots of dignity. Partners are welcome, but we will not accept bosses." Remember that when our government says that Bolivia is governed by extremists or that the motivations behind the seizure were somehow evil. According to Washington, "evil" is code for being against corporate domination.

* Another example of America's underhanded economic policy was called out by the World Trade Organization & will probably lead to trade sanctions on U.S. cotton. Our government has illegally paid U.S. growers subsidies that allow our exported cotton to be sold at prices that undercut the ability of other nations to sell their own cotton (even in their own countries). Brazil brought the charges before the WTO & is now looking at the possibility of collecting on $1 billion a year in sanctions on U.S. imports. That is a major economic bitch-slap, if I've ever seen one! Look for Bush's response which will probably diss the WTO as biased or evil (see definition above).

That’s all, Folks!

Finally, the Obama v. Clinton Democratic bout is coming to an end (even though most of us saw it's outcome months ago). Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee for President & will go head-to-head with John "War Hero turned Sell Out" McCain in November. Hurry up & get registered HERE We don't want another eight years of the Republican Moron-a-thon, so handle the business, people!